Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so let's talk penis.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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