the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
