I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
