I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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