You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
