Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
