I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
