And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
