just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
