it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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