Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
