i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
