i just had sex bonerless
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
