HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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