He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
