i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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