Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
