seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
