sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
