The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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