Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
