Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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