I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm at about main and main street
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
