Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
