I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
