He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
