Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
