Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
