We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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