Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
