dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
