I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
