Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
