Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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