One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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