He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i now understand why vodka
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize