You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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