dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
