There is no way he is gay with that hair.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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