I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
