Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
