I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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