Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
