I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
