He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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