my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
