i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
