ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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