I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize