its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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