Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
