i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
