You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
