She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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