i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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