I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
