this boner is exhausting
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
