Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
