jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
