how can u be prego again
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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