my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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