So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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