It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize