My friends, they love my intelligence
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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