$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
