Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
