If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
