Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
